No matter how radical or how correct my beliefs are they mean nothing unless they are manifested in my life. I woke up this morning a bit depressed realizing just how short I fall. Why do I do the things I do? Do I pray so that I feel less guilty over my sins as if my prayer works toward my salvation? Do I really understand the grace God has given me? If so, why doesn't it manifest itself in love for others or even in my outward actions? God, help my unbelief.

I feel my heart hardening and I feel myself growing numb to scripture, quickly regarding what I read as instructions for other people, anyone but myself. I've been praying more, yes, but what's my motivation? Am I praying simply to ease my guilt or am I truly pleading with God.

"No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God." - Luke 9:62

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." - Hebrews 12:1-3