It's been quite a while since I have sat down and written anything over a couple sentences... mainly because whenever I try to think of something to write I end up erasing it because I don't want to commit to whatever it was I was writing or I just feel stupid. But tonight I have decided to stick it out and write without fear.

School: School has been good. Last quarter proved to be good as I got a 3.8 (yay!) My efforts paid off. This quarter I'm taking 2 units less (than my former 14 units) thus I have a very relaxed schedule. I only have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays so it gives me a lot of time to do other things. Hopefully, I'll spend that extra time in the word and in things that will contribute to my spiritual growth. I don't really feel like I'm learning much from classes though... I mean, I was excited for college because of the fact that I'm able to choose my own classes, but it seems I'm always restricted either by my own interests or my parent's. I ought to take initiative for my own education (that my parents are paying for...) =/ it's quite hectic. Anyway, that's that.
...on a less academic note, (as posted earlier) I've moved out of the dorms and am now at home. There are pros and cons to this which I will save for a later date... or perhaps never. I'm glad to be with my family and I feel like I've never really nourished any sort of real relationship with my parents. Perhaps this is my chance.

As I sink deeper into my current state of delirium I'm realizing that people probably aren't going to read all of this, yet I will press on knowing that in the future I will be glad to have written this.

God: God is good... I am not. Something that is being pounded into my head everyday. If I thought I was sinful before, I am more than ever convinced of this and also the utter depravity of mankind. And yet, I am growing in thankfulness to God for His grace. Although I am a bit dissapointed with myself for not sharing the gospel this past quarter, I must understand that hope is not lost, even for one as sinful as myself. God works in mysterious ways... I will not sink into the slough of despair but I will persevere and by God's good grace I will share with boldness His good news.
Church: is good. Realizing that despite our own sinfulness and pride, God can work. And it is a good thing to hear/see His word being preached.

DISCLAIMER: I am aware that a stranger reading this post may come to the wrongful conclusion that I am not struggling. If you, stranger, have reached this conclusion you have been utterly deceived. If you have reached a conclusion on the other side... that I am a great big loserface, I would like to say that you're wrong, but you probably aren't. =(
The great/tragic thing about writing is that one can pick and choose what to reveal about himself and what to hide... perhaps this will contribute to my hypocrisy, perhaps not.

I am delirious, yet all that you have read I have written genuinely (or at least I hope so... the heart is deceitful)...

Your Friend,
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